2018 Grammy Awards show

  So I was going to write up something about tonight.  Too many different emotions going on.  I'm really inspired.

  But, I'm extremely hard on myself right now.  Last year I was beaten down by people who didn't believe in me and my goals.  Some even abanded me. Lost some friends.  Goodbye, I know you will never reach out to me again.  Some said yeah you can do it but in their eyes, they truly don't believe.  I was robbed of my camera.  Still have not been able to replace that expensive gear.  The world and I lost a couple of amazing artists and a few were really important to me in my life.  A couple of them couldn't even deal with life anymore and took their own.  It was difficult watching that part of the awards tonight.  At one point I was made to believe I would be photographing something that involved the Grammys since it was in NYC.  Some even made me believe.  In my heart and mind, I failed there.  I'm at home, where I wanted to be if I wasn't at Madison Square Garden.  

  Many people I have come in contact with have been asking me about the Grammy Awards this week.  My response has been the same.  It's all or nothing, it's life or death next year.  That is really how I feel at this very moment.  I will give it my all.  I'll need help getting there.  All I know is I just cannot be in this same position next year.  

  This past year has also shown me a lot and I mean a lot more positive than the negative I mentioned.  My family believes in me.  I have a few friends that really believe in me.  There were photographers that offered me their backup cameras to borrow!  I have a friend that I'm still using his lens and even this week.  Damn I owe him a lot and I don't even know what that is or means but I'm very honored and thankful.  Probably would've missed a few meals without it.  Met so many great industry people.  Made new friends with more incredible musicians.  I'm talking we text and call each other to this day.  There were a few top music industry photographers who told me they like my work this past year.  WTF.  Still hard to believe.  Recording Academy Member as a photographer!  Photographed insane legends in the industry Petty, Janet, Metallica and there's several more but I cannot think right now.  So I am extremely thankful for last year but this year has to be even more incredible if I want to make my goal a year from now.  Where will I get the funds? Who will hire me to photograph the awards?  Where will the next few months take me on this journey?  Who will I meet? Who do I meet?  All I know right now is that I will give it my all.  

  As for the award show.  I never thought I would say this but Kesha was hands down the best performance of the evening. So many wonderful performance but that was the most powerful!  Her team never accepted me in the past but I still believe she deserved to win.  NO, SHE IS THE WINNER in my heart and she should be in your heart too.  Sorry Ed, I respect you but your song was no, "Praying".  The other women she brought on stage, love for you all.  

Oh and a week from now, GO PHILADELPHIA EAGLES!  A lot of happiness in the city where I work right now! I believe they will win!

-Derek Brad

Read my original Road to the GRAMMYs concept post I wrote last year after the awards